Kate (Meredith Majors) recently lost her husband in a tragic accident. She decides to cope with this loss by fulfilling her dream of owning a home on Lake Eerie. She moves into this dream home intent on recovering from her husband’s death. What Kate doesn’t know is that this house has a dark past. Now that dark past is being brought into the present, drawn by the new inhabitant of the home.

Oh Lake Eerie.. I won’t lie, I’m going to have a hard time finding good things to say about this film. Let’s start with the plot. In theory, this is an interesting story. Being the archaeology nerd that I am, I loved that the previous owner of the house was an archaeologist. I also loved the references to ancient Egyptian archaeology and artifacts. That being said, there wasn’t really anything else that worked in this plot. At times it just didn’t make sense. While the archaeology and mythology were the only aspects of the plot that I actually liked, the simple fact that the film took place in a rundown house on Lake Eerie made the ancient Egyptian evil seem very out of place. The last 10 minutes of the film left me wondering what just happened. I won’t give it away for those brave enough to watch the film, but I was scratching my head after those last 10 minutes, asking my most hated question – why?

In terms of effects, there really weren’t many in Lake Eerie. This was a smart move by the filmmakers considering they likely had a small budget to work with. Unfortunately that meant the “creatures” that are haunting Kate’s home looked a bit lackluster. They mostly just looked like regular people in weird clothes with the kind of contacts you can buy at a Halloween store. In a similar tone that showed a lack of effort, there was an alternate world that we see where these creatures come from. The world is essentially just the house Kate lives in without the furniture and with a lot of red light.

The dialogue combined with the acting was probably what made this film the most difficult to watch. Listening to the choppy dialogue felt so rudimentary while also failing to sound like what people would say in real life. In one scene Kate gets scared by something in the house while she is moving in. A teenage boy that is helping her move doesn’t believe there was anything to be scared of says “typical woman, afraid of her own shadow.” Not only is it completely unbelievable to me that a teenage boy would say that to a hot older woman, but he especially wouldn’t say it to a hot older woman who is paying him for a job.

Now this brings me to the acting. I hate to say it, but this is one of the worst acted films I have seen in a very long time, if not ever. Meredith Majors (The Neighbor) was cringeworthy as the lead, Kate. Majors sounded so monotone throughout the entire film. She failed to properly convey any kind of emotion, whether it be sadness, fear, or happiness. There were times where she was supposed to be screaming in fear, but it sounds more like she is simply saying “ahhhhhhh.” In a similar situation she turns away from the camera when she is supposed to be crying because she is unable to produce tears. This inability to act can be seen in virtually every actor with a role in this film. There is a bright side though (possibly the only bright side). The two saving graces of this film came in the form of Betsy Baker (The Evil Dead) and Lance Henriksen (Aliens, Pumpkinhead). If these two horror legends weren’t in the film, I probably wouldn’t have made it through to the end. While their roles are relatively small, they both command the screen when they are on. Both Baker and Henriksen manage to push past the horrible writing and show how great their acting abilities really are.

There were many more bad things about this film than there were good. I think the root of the problem is that this film was made by a married couple, who chose to spread themselves thin by doing many jobs poorly, rather than focusing on one job and doing it very well. Meredith Majors wrote and starred in the film, while her husband Chris Majors directed the film and also acted in it. The result was a film with poor dialogue, lots of cringeworthy acting, and a story that just didn’t make much sense. If it wasn’t for Baker and Henriksen, this film would be unwatchable, and they are really the only aspect of the film keeping me from giving the film a 0/10 (I know it may seem harsh, but I have to be honest in my reviews).

OVERALL RATING: 1.5/10